Running from Chipotle’s (to Not Be Runny)

I went to go see a professor today about some courses I am considering taking. Usually, I’d expect professors to be a little cold and distant but this is exactly the absent-minded stereotype. He laughs at his own grammatical errors and grins a whole lot, even though he is an expert in his field of study. His voice has unexpected highs and lows, with a lots of hmmm’s and ohhhhh….’s. Professors like that tend to make me feel less socially awkward that I already am, even at this god-forsaken nerd school (sorry it’s finals week).

I guess that’s why I was not surprised when I saw this written on his To Do chalkboard:

“I don’t care what people say. Chipotle is ‘runny poop’ in Spanish.”

I wonder how many people felt like laughing when they saw that, but couldn’t. I can keep a straight face, even when I’m totally keeled over by random crap. It must be how crazy people feel lke all the time.

Chipotle is a chain restaurant that makes Spanish/ Tex Mex influenced burritos and tacos. It’s like a gourmet fast food! Kind of like how Panda Express is for (american-stereotyped) Chinese food. I will be the first to tell you that Chipotle feeds you your dollar’s worth — and a whole lot more. At some point sophomore year, my friends and I tabulated the caloric value of a typical meal at Chipotle’s. It was a freaking 2,000 - 2,500 calories! That includes the flour tortilla, rice, beans, meat, cheese, vegetables, corn, hot/ guacamole sauces, and sour cream for 1 (one) burrito.

Open wide. If it makes you feel any better, I could not fit the whole burrito into my mouth.

I’m not surprised. Fast food has had a bad reputation since “Super Size Me” and Fast Food Nation were presented to the American public. Even before that, anyone could tell you they at least felt fatter after eating out. But at this rate, Chipotle’s is worse for me than McDonald’s! They do have alternatives that are generally healthier, like the 3 tacos order (3 tacos with lettuce, some veggies, and some meat, sauce if you want, and cheese).

It’s like a large salad. Without dressing.

But normally people don’t eat 3 tacos anyways, so they’d think to order just one (hugemongous) burrito. The Mexican Grilled Burrito has made #16 on the 20 Worst Foods of America List by Men’s Health. But it’s not just men who should worry about the (un)healthiness of the food. That burrito makes me feel bloated for at least a full 2 days afterwards. Too bad it is yummy that I have to feel gross afterwards :/

My hand versus the Burrito

When I’m insanely hungry, I used to go there with my friends. Before sophomore year, the closest location was 20 minutes away, so I was able to keep the trouble at bay. But then developers decided to make some new shops near my dorm and put a whole bunch of chain stores in. Now there is a Chipotle’s staring at me every time I’m on that street. That and Starbucks (I’m saving that rant for later).

On my 19th birthday in Chipotle, December 2006. My chubby cheeks prove the ill effects of Chipotle on me then! It was TOTALLY worth it.

Any more than 3 trips a semester to Chipotle’s, though, and I will be sure to have some sort of health problem very soon. The last time I was there, in February, I bought a 3 taco meal!

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Added 5/11/08:

Dee commented about Chipotle’s being a sellout to the Gringo. Maybe this is off the mark, but I recall that every person who I have ever seen working at Chipotle’s is Spanish-speaking. How did I guess this? I didn’t have to. They speak Spanish to each other the whole time. They even speak Spanish to me! One time I actually answered in Spanish, which made the girl stop glaring at me (assimilation has its plus points).

*/digression
I think sometimes I look Spanish/Latin/other politically correct term? Especially in dimmer lighting. This might be why people there randomly speak Spanish to me. It’s okay by me, except it’s a little annoying whenever I feel like blending in.
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Other times, I just asked them to “mezcla, por favor” the filling in the tortilla because otherwise it’s all lopsided and weird to eat that huge burrito with flavors that are different on opposite sides of your mouth.

~ by paperdreamer on May 9, 2008.