Staying Inside

I just learned that Maryland’s sales tax is now 6%.

Apparently the state increased it 4 months ago? Where was I? wtf…

Somehow no matter what happens beyond the campus, I am totally and utterly unaware until someone who has gone…outside…returns with news. I don’t even watch TV anymore. Not that I had an available TV since I started college. I basically surf the net and watch movies to push along time. Oh yeah, that and the crappy amount of work that is constantly hanging over my head. But I digress (again).

Classes force me to buy $100 books that I will hate ever after.
(Photo Link)

How is it that I, who needs to buy something every day did not notice that the sales tax is higher? I check receipts! How could I not see that I was paying an extra cent for every dollar that I paid? Stuff like that adds up for a student.

Sometimes I’m glad parking sucks.
(Photo Link)

Maybe it is because I don’t have to pay for car gasoline. That’s the only perpetual whining I hear about increased fees in terms of dimes and nickels increments. That is a really odd sentence I know, but just read it again. Slowly. It really does make sense.

I am pretty sure this an unrelated rock band logo.
(Photo Link)

Until I am out of school, I may be in this limbo state. But I don’t think it will really end there. I’m supposed to do more schooling after that too. Am I abnormal? Other kids in other schools seem so much more aware. I’m reminded of hippie kids but it probably is true for people in other schools today too.

The Present School Controversy

To answer Steve Rebooted in my prior post “Cinderella Was Weak“:

Before this year, a lot of outcries have been heard of concern for students at my university. Some of these worries are well-placed and some are simply unfounded! This year, there was a lot of media recently on the anonymous online message board for Johns Hopkins students, JHUConfessions. The local news has basically turned this into a farce, confirming fears from the school administration that students are pulling down the reputation of JHU by posting about taboo and shocking subjects (drugs, sex, random vices, gossip). The same news reporters covered embarrassments at JHU before (see “A Past School Controversy“). The reporters have shown themselves to be more wanting to feed off of the potential for frenzy than to actually report the news for what it is.

JHUConfessions was created by Andrew Mann, a senior, as a way for students to voice their thoughts. Many students do not go to counseling or know a goo way to talk to people face to face about the topics discussed. While the board isn’t meant to act as any substitute for parents, friends, or professional guidance, I think it probably helps a lot of people who otherwise could never talk about certain issues with anyone.

Anyone can view the message boards. To post on the board, you must be a JHU student, confirmed by JH email. I think it is probably not that hard to track which poster wrote which post/ reply due to this, as well as by IP Number (although current technology makes it possible to avoid the IP identification). While students do seem to make sure they remain anonymous, they do seem to trust the integrity of the system not to reveal their identity. On some level, this poses a problem for JHUConfessions, should there be posts regarding suicide, violence, and other ethical violations. But for the most part, it’s kids writing things about other kids (and other people too). As such, they can be mean spirited and good natured. When people mention names, the person might reply to the forum or never see the post at all! Most of the people who use JHUConfessions look like underclassmen, so a great number of the student body does not participate in the discussions (but they probably view them).

A lot of people are saying JHUConfessions should be banned and user should be punished, I really don’t know what to tell those people as a stranger. I would say that the rate of depression is extremely high at JHU, moreover increased by the atmosphere of the city as claustrophobic. Students fear going a few blocks away from campus without the school shuttle, thinking they will be shot or attacked in some way.

*/digression
Yes, I tell people who come to prospective student visits not to come here if they can’t handle the stress. It’s a serious issue that I’m not sure the counseling center has enough manpower to handle. There are 4,000 undergraduates and at least 2/3 of the school has asked for help. As the saying goes: it’s not as hard to get into JHU as it is to leave!
The parents always get mad when current students tell them to make informed choices with their kid. But I see them walking around campus with those yellow JHU visitor totebags and it screams WARNING.
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I love my school and I know we have a beautiful green campus that some kids can only see pictures of. But I also see the despair when much of the student population is under suicide watch by the counseling center during Finals. I see kids far from home and trying to fit in to a new place they don’t really understand and can’t really explore. I see people who want to interact with others but are afraid to say the wrong things. There’s a lot of silence at JHU and I don’t see the good in shutting up voices that need to be heard.

A Past School Controversy

At some point in an undergraduate career, it’s only inevitable that there is going to be some sort of controversial whirlwind storming over a university. This has been true in universities across the nation, regardless of student size or demographic. For example, the choice of Columbia University to have Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, the president of Iran, debate at the school last September was nationally derided as an unnecessary inclusion (encouragement, even) of someone who symbolizes and encourages hatred of America. The aftermath of the event followed with further ridicule at the ignorance of President Ahmadinejad about the modern concept of diverse sexuality: President Ahmadinejad stated, “In Iran we don’t have homosexuals like in your country.”

You know what they say about people who hate something too much…
(Photo Link)

The Columbia University discussion fired among the public was a serious <laughing> matter, though, controlled by the decision of the administration. Is it different when a national debate is offset by actions of the student body?

In my experience, it seems to elicit as much of an uproar but there are certainly more fears of doom and danger —> sex, drugs and rock ‘n roll <— when students cause a clamor that doesn’t even begin to match the importance of Columbia University’s recognizance of the Iranian President. At my school, the Johns Hopkins University, this has happened two years in a row!

Last year, there was a huge national condemnation for a Halloween party held by the Sigma Chi fraternity chapter here. The fraternity had a pirate skeleton hung by a noose and a ‘thugs in the ghetto’ type invitation on Facebook sent out to encourage people to come. As with other universities, the party had its characteristic noise and chaos (and probably inebriation). After the party, the Black Student Union (BSU) of the university, led by a group of students, stated that Sig Chi’s party had offended them as they perceived the skeleton hanging to deliberately allude to lynchings of Blacks. Further, the BSU felt that the Facebook invitation had been insensitive to the area that surrounded the school (Baltimore City) and was inherently racist.

The two points by the BSU seemed, at first, valid to me. I’m not associated with any fraternity, or even Greek society. In fact, I have no lost love for frats and sororities, at least not the cultural stereotype by which the movies have so jaded us. In this way, I was quite outraged by the actions of the fraternity, though I was unaware of the details of the case.

I actually found the story out from my father, who called to ask me about the matter, which was slapped across national news media. I was a little confused at first because I had not heard about it at all! Most students at Johns Hopkins are constantly in the library or their rooms. It’s even more the nerd school than it may be known. We live in a ‘bubble’ in the middle of a city with one of the highest rates of homicide in America; yet, JHU has the highest percentage of international students of any university in the country. Beyond that, many students are out-of-state residents and have not ventured into the “real” Maryland at all. Due to the location of Hopkins inside the city limits, there are also stringent limits to parking (barely anyone has a car).

After reading up on the BSU’s claims and cross-referencing that with what I knew about the people involved, I started seeing a different truth than the one portrayed in the media and in the eyes of outsiders. Sigma Chi was a multicultural fraternity, with Asian, Black, and White members. The president of the fraternity was an Asian guy as well. Sigma Chi had the same party decorations and similar environment the year before without any complaints. I think it is entirely possible that the BSU overblew the symbolic significance of the party, doing a great deal of damage to JHU’s reputation and to the lives of Sigma Chi members. In fact, while leading individuals in BSU were given airtime in national news discussions and newspaper quotes, leaders of Sigma Chi were very harshly punished (year-long suspension, ruined academic and ethics records, etc.). I believe that Sigma Chi may have behaved foolishly, but were not ill-willed in their intentions.

JHU does not take outside disapproval lightly; administrators will go to great lengths to ensure that no amount of the university image is tarnished. Johns Hopkins, the school, is as much an academic entity as it is a corporate interest.  In everything that happens at this school, there are ramifications on the University (JHU) level as well as the Institution (Johns Hopkins Institutions) level.  So in going to redeem the name of the school to the public, officials heavily punished a bunch of kids (it will affect their whole lives) for something that was significantly less offensive than portrayed. It’s too late to change what happened, but maybe we can learn something about looking that facts as they stand instead of how they’re represented.

Cinderella was Weak

My first movie in America was Disney’s Beauty and the Beast. Since then, Belle has been my favourite princess. Even when I stopped liking yellow because my mom told me it yellow was for old people. Now that I’m older, yellow is for Asian people.

*/digression
People always talk about how watered down Disney’s stories are of the original European folk tales, which often contain a lot of violence (Just for reference, there weren’t a specific “set” of originals. They were pretty much word of mouth tellings that varied according to region.) I don’t think watering down horror stories is really a bad thing. Little kids can’t always handle the grotesque as well as adults, nor should those themes play the same role today that it played in the lives of kids who lived 600 years ago. People seem to think the originals were more honest and brutally moral but it was definitely more than that. The originals tales contained strong elements of the fear and danger that were everpresent in the lives of the people who told them. I’m okay with children today hearing more pleasant stories that have a substantial moral of their own.
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Belle was a pretty strong role model for girls. Maybe the strongest that Disney has ever presented. Belle is a modern lady

• Ariel was a little silly. But who could blame her? She was a stereotyped redhead and she was 16.
• Jasmine was into finding her own place in the world. But let’s face it, Aladdin had to keep saving her from a greedy eyeliner man, who stuck her in a freaking hourglass (where Aladdin saves her again).
• Snow White was gullible. Her singing voice was also annoying (warbling?)
• Sleeping Beauty was more led into her end, rather than doing anything on her own. And she slept through the whole thing!

All these people keep waiting for someone to save them! But the worst has got to be Cinderella. The moral of the story is to be kind to everyone (eg being a doormat is okay). In the end, you will get your dues. I’ve never liked this story. Ever! It always leaves me with the feeling that I was helpless and useless as a girl.

Sure, it’s wonderful to be a good person and believe that no matter how people treat you, you should always do what’s right. But it’s another thing to rely entirely on others to make your dreams come true.

Girls who do well today, in any way, are the people who believe in themselves and proactively do something about their situation. Whether its the career, education, social, or family areas that someone chooses to focus on in their life, it is important to address these parts of your life as your own. What you get is what you give.

Oh yeah…and I think Belle is prettier.

Running from Chipotle’s (to Not Be Runny)

I went to go see a professor today about some courses I am considering taking. Usually, I’d expect professors to be a little cold and distant but this is exactly the absent-minded stereotype. He laughs at his own grammatical errors and grins a whole lot, even though he is an expert in his field of study. His voice has unexpected highs and lows, with a lots of hmmm’s and ohhhhh….’s. Professors like that tend to make me feel less socially awkward that I already am, even at this god-forsaken nerd school (sorry it’s finals week).

I guess that’s why I was not surprised when I saw this written on his To Do chalkboard:

“I don’t care what people say. Chipotle is ‘runny poop’ in Spanish.”

I wonder how many people felt like laughing when they saw that, but couldn’t.  I can keep a straight face, even when I’m totally keeled over by random crap.  It must be how crazy people feel lke all the time.

Chipotle is a chain restaurant that makes Spanish/ Tex Mex influenced burritos and tacos. It’s like a gourmet fast food! Kind of like how Panda Express is for (american-stereotyped) Chinese food. I will be the first to tell you that Chipotle feeds you your dollar’s worth — and a whole lot more. At some point sophomore year, my friends and I tabulated the caloric value of a typical meal at Chipotle’s. It was a freaking 2,000 - 2,500 calories! That includes the flour tortilla, rice, beans, meat, cheese, vegetables, corn, hot/ guacamole sauces, and sour cream for 1 (one) burrito.

Open wide. If it makes you feel any better, I could not fit the whole burrito into my mouth.

I’m not surprised. Fast food has had a bad reputation since “Super Size Me” and Fast Food Nation were presented to the American public. Even before that, anyone could tell you they at least felt fatter after eating out. But at this rate, Chipotle’s is worse for me than McDonald’s! They do have alternatives that are generally healthier, like the 3 tacos order (3 tacos with lettuce, some veggies, and some meat, sauce if you want, and cheese).

It’s like a large salad. Without dressing.

But normally people don’t eat 3 tacos anyways, so they’d think to order just one (hugemongous) burrito. That burrito makes me feel bloated for at least a full 2 days afterwards. Too bad it is yummy that I have to feel gross afterwards :/

My hand versus the Burrito

When I’m insanely hungry, I used to go there with my friends. Before sophomore year, the closest location was 20 minutes away, so I was able to keep the trouble at bay. But then developers decided to make some new shops near my dorm and put a whole bunch of chain stores in. Now there is a Chipotle’s staring at me every time I’m on that street. That and Starbucks (I’m saving that rant for later).

On my 19th birthday in Chipotle, December 2006. My chubby cheeks prove the ill effects of Chipotle on me then! It was TOTALLY worth it.

Any more than 3 trips a semester to Chipotle’s, though, and I will be sure to have some sort of health problem very soon. The last time I was there, in February, I bought a 3 taco meal!

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Added 5/11/08:

Dee commented about Chipotle’s being a sellout to the Gringo. Maybe this is off the mark, but I recall that every person who I have ever seen working at Chipotle’s is Spanish-speaking. How did I guess this? I didn’t have to. They speak Spanish to each other the whole time. They even speak Spanish to me! One time I actually answered in Spanish, which made the girl stop glaring at me (assimilation has its plus points).

*/digression
I think sometimes I look Spanish/Latin/other politically correct term? Especially in dimmer lighting. This might be why people there randomly speak Spanish to me. It’s okay by me, except it’s a little annoying whenever I feel like blending in.
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Other times, I just asked them to “mezcla, por favor” the filling in the tortilla because otherwise it’s all lopsided and weird to eat that huge burrito with flavors that are different on opposite sides of your mouth.

So…Vocab Queen?

I spent an hour on freerice.com. Before you condemn me for wasting my time and not studying for finals, I swear I will get on that (by Monday). But yeah it was totally worth it because I got Level 56 and ended on Level 54!  I feel rather righteously conceited now. Let me bask in it…and yes…I took photos to commemorate my accomplishment.

Oh yeah and this helped a lot of people too. Go Freerice. Stop Hunger…

Last Day of Junior Year!

Friday was the last day of classes for junior year! w00t!

Granted, it’s not the last I have to hear of junior year (forever), but finals aren’t for a week and I have not studied in two days at all. Yay!

My backpack was significantly less bulky [=] heavy on Friday so I’m sure I will have less humpy back syndrome over the summer

I will admit, though, this photo makes it less fat. Kind of how when a sunbather lie down, they look less fat too. I get mad when I realize they have deceived me into (maybe) thinking they are hot.

I’ve had this particular bag since 6th grade. it was the first sturdy backpack I ever had!
On that day, my dad was like, “You’re only getting another one when you’re in 10th grade.”
I replied, “Yeah. Okay. I want the blue one!!!”

I didn’t buy another one until 11th grade actually. It was a messenger bag, though, and everybody knows how much a pain in the butt they can be when you carry textbooks, TI-84 Plus, many pens/pencils/erasers, other crap I forgot to remove (I wallow in my nerddom). Thus, my consistent use of my now 9 year old back pack.

I think the assignment of a locker to me in high school may have been a waste. Currently, I wish I had a locker in the library. But apparently being a lowly undergrad prevents me from enjoying the same privileges as faculty and grad students. I swear I would appreciate it 1000x as much as them. I would probably use it too.

Notice the No Cell Phone signs (the square posters with the red circle bar) on the walls. RIght, so no one ever listens to that on purpose.

Oh yeah, and food. I always get busted for eating at the library. It’s like some sort of sanctuary. I guess I have since violated it by eating some apples, a pear, and a grapefruit within its walls. Once I totally forgot to keep it on the DL and a really old guy (really old!) starts getting closer in my peripheral vision. At first, this is sort of creepy and I try to ignore him as people at my school generally are protected by the uni police like overprotective mothers. But then the guy just stands there to the side of my desk while I’m eating and reading at the same time. I finally look up, “Yes?” I start getting really afraid because he looks a little agitated (read: deranged). He then says, “You shouldn’t be eating in here.” I continue chewing on the strawberry because in my mind I’m thinking “OH. Yeah I’m not supposed to be. But I do it all the time.” And then I realize that this very decrepit looking person is a librarian. And so I am like Damn…

The librarian then goes into a 5 minute spiel about they can get a rat infestation if there are too many foodstuffs littered on the floor (I clean up the desk with alcohol wipes when I’m done. Boo.) It’s really embarrassing because it was in the morning when only the really serious studiers are in the library and you can hear a pin drop — I want him to stop so bad! But he keeps going about how they have really old books that disintegrate when food gets on the books ( I rarely borrow books, I just go there to study my own textbooks). Oh my and the ants! He must hate animals. So then he tells me to give my food to the security guard at the entrance gate. I hate that. Hate that! I am still eating food, but not on M Level anymore; on D Level, no one ever checks on me. But the chewing sound probably echoes more. Oh well.

I was definitely not studying for about 1 hour at the library. Sometimes distractions are too enticing…

But maybe I was too busy staring at this metal sculpture at the center of M Level:

D Level is where it’s at (~yo*~*):

Either way, Reading Period has not started yet, so I’m pretty sure my distractions have not had any real affect (yet). I am also pretty sure many people could hear the clicks of my camera going off. It is freaking quiet in there most of the time.

Four Things!

I was tagged by Dee to explain 4 Things About Me (multiplied as a list):

4 Things I was doing 10 years ago …

1. Finishing Elementary School (5th Grade). A lot of people cried at graduation!
2. I started being more creative about art beyond coloring.
3. Gymnastics
4. Playing Mega Math Blaster on our first family computer

4 Things I was doing 5 years ago …

1. Taking AP exams. It was somehow not really that stressful. I think it was because I realized it was pretty much out of my hands; you sow what you reap!
2. Standardized tests (Geometry, English, Reading, etc.) Can you say mediocre expectations?
3. Dissecting fetal pigs in bio lab. Some say I am sadistic. I beg to differ.
4. I began waking myself up at 6 AM (or earlier) every day for school.

4 Things I am doing this year …

1. Taking things more seriously. No really. Not that it’s the real world or anything. But things still matter. Even if it feels like tomorrow will never come, it eventually will. I’ll be ready.
2. Taking my first writing course at university
3. Blogging for the first time ever!
4. Reduce my backpack load by using folders and looseleaf paper for class notes. Thick notebooks and binders don’t cut it, especially with my need for laptop & laptop battery (5 kg?), books (3 kg?), and other cr4p (2 kg?). I resolve to not be a hunchback by the time I graduate. I’ll keep you posted on the painful deformation…

4 Things I did yesterday …

1. Ate out with my friend
2. Rode public transportation. Bad idea.
3. Tried talking to lost French parent visitors to campus in the little French I know. I was so afraid to offend them, so after a while I froze up and couldn’t understand what they were saying anymore. I basically said “oui” each time their voice rose as in a question. Also a bad idea.
4. Sang every good song I could think of in a music practice room. Nice echo gives me an inflated ego

4 Shows I like

1. The Simpsons
2. The Tonight Show with Jay Leno
3. Dateline
4. Saturday Night Live

I obviously do not watch a lot of TV. So spurn me.

4 Biggest joys of the moment…

1. Getting in to my first choice university
2. Seeing my parents’ faces at high school graduation
3. Looking at the Himalayas
4. My baby sister hugged me for the first time and actually knew who I was.

I am tagging people whose blogs are still alive ( a mix of blogroll/ newly adored blogs):

Amber

Canadian Investor

Pomeroy

Frederic Quang Vu Nguyen

Poetic Medium

I started posting some of my poetry on this blog as soon as I created the blog.  After about a month, I got a little lazy about it :/ but I’ve started back up again!

Sometimes when I write, it’s like a song without a tune.  That can get very tricky if I want it to express an idea that is only transparent by its appeal to intuition, rather than semantic, thought.

Maybe they will speak to you too and that is what I hope.  Sometimes the things that one person feels is more universal than solitary.  It’s nice to get it out there and open up my mind to the world!

All poetry has been condensed to one blog page (see sidebar).

Photographs from the shuttle

On the roads of the (small and slightly non-booming) city…

why is the utz girl advertising for diamonds? and who is the random moustache guy?

commercialized!